


Ran out

by Weekpra



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hinata Hajime is in Class 77, Character Death, F/F, F/M, Frontotemporal Dementia, Gay Komaeda Nagito, Gay Male Character, How Do I Tag, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Major Illness, Post-Neo World Program (Dangan Ronpa), Sick Komaeda Nagito, Suffering Komaeda Nagito, lymphoma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:09:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24225625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weekpra/pseuds/Weekpra
Summary: Nagito's life expectancy of one year seems to flow by so fast that even he doesn't realize it. After waking up from the neo world program he had been cured from the so called "despair disease". But he still had his lymphoma and frontotemporal dementia to worry about.A hope restoration program didn't exactly help with those.Nagito had been suprised that the 77th-class had forgiven him that easily, but he never told them. They didn't need to know and probably wouldn't even care.So why bother?Its only when the class is spending time together and Nagito's health seems to deteriorate in a matter of a few seconds at the worst time possible.
Relationships: Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Kuzuryu Fuyuhiko/Pekoyama Peko, Sonia Nevermind/Tanaka Gundham
Comments: 27
Kudos: 360





	1. The truth

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this instead of sleeping-
> 
> So basically a sort of angsty fic that's centering around Nagito Komemeda.
> 
> I have no idea how illnesses like lymphoma and frontotemporal dementia work and I probably should have done research

Nagito was suprised at how quick his class- his friends- had put the events in the neo world program in the past and forgiven him. And yet still he couldn't stop apologizing for everything. He had a lot of stuff to apologize for. But even after everything- the life expectancy of a year that Nagito had seemed to fly by like it was only a few months. Nagito himself didn't even realize how much time had passed until he started having high fevers, headaches, dizziness and weakness in every limb of his fragile body. At the very worst he couldn't even pick up his phone. And that's when he realized something. Something he was scared to admit. Scared to say out loud. His time was running out. He was dying. Nagito groaned as his phone buzzed uncontrollably next to him. He turned around in his bed and reached for it. There were two notifications. One from the groupchat he and the rest of the class was on, and the second a reminder to take his meds. He stood up- wavering a bit and taking support on a wall before his legs started working again and he went to take his medication. After that he walked back to his bed and sat onto it and grabbed his phone again to check the messages in the group chat. He was hoping for something like Ibuki asking about homework again or something harmless like that. Maybe a small conversation about an upcoming game or a movie? Nope. Unfortunately it was not that. It was an invitation to go somewhere, as a group. Everyone had already seemed to agree. Apparently Hajime noticed that Nagito was online since he asked if Nagito was coming. Well, it would be rude to say no. Wouldn't it? Besides maybe his luck would let him stay up and well for a few hours.

**Hajimeme:** Nagito are you coming with us as well?

**Komemeda:** Yes I suppose, where are we planning to go?

**Soda can:** Shopping or beach.

**Two-gami:** Shopping sounds better.

**Disney princess:** Agreed

**Hajimeme:** So it's decided then?

Everyone answered with a yes and Nagito put his phone away to get changed. His balance wanted to fail him multiple times but he managed to get his clothes changed and get himself out of the door. Their assigned meeting place was in front of the new sushi restaurant at the mall. When he made it there a few people already had arrived, Sonia Nevermind, Hajime Hinata, Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu, Peko Pekoyama and Gundham Tanaka. Soon, everyone else arrived and their day could start. A day Nagito hoped he could make it out of. Everyone were saying their own suggestions about where they should be going but Akane's was the most clearest.

"Can we please go try out that new sushi restaurant?" She whined. She was clearly hungry but it wasn't that suprising since that was what she always was. A few seemed to agree. Well it was early in the morning and no one had most likely not eaten anything yet. So they decided to go eat first. Nagito didn't feel like eating anything but he also knew that not eating anything for the whole day wouldn't be the smartest move if he didn't want his illnesses to ruin his day. He took a few sushi rolls and ate two of them and then just started pocking them with his chopsticks. Everyone was cheerfully chatting and Nagito did his best to join the conversation at some points but he started to feel dizzy whenever he tried to so he just decided to stay quiet and observe the others while trying to eat more of his food. "Are you okay Nagito? You're awfully quiet." Hajime suddenly asked which startled Nagito a bit and he flinched a little.

"Ah! Oh, yes I am." Nagito smiled after he had regained himself from his shock. Hajime didn't exactly seem convinced but nodded anyway and continued his conversation with the others. After Akane had taken her fifth plate they paid for their food and started walking around the mall and buying basically anything that seemed interesting to them. By the end of it they had numerous bags full f stuff to carry. Nagito bet it looked hilarious to the people who stopped to stare at them. When they had went through every shop in the huge mall they were ready to leave and Nagito had to bite back a sigh of relief. Until Sonia suggested something. 

"There's an antique shop away from downtown! We should go there! I heard that the stuff they sell there are so beautiful." She exclaimed. All of Nagito's classmates seemed excited about the idea. All except him. What was he supposed to do? He couldn't just leave now and hope no one would notice! Hajime was holding his hand for gods sake! Everyone else turned to him- expecting an answer since he was the only one who had not yet agreed. He gave a small smile. "Sounds exciting! Good idea, Sonia." He stated. Sonia's eyes sparkled from joy and she threw her hand into the air. "Let's go then!" she exclaimed. They started walking towards the nearest busstop and got on the bus once it came. They got off on their stuff and Sonia laughed in excitement when she saw the shop a little farther away. His friends were talking to eachother, smiling and laughing. Nagito was laughing as well.

Suddenly every noise that was made started sounding blurry and disordered in Nagito's ears. Black spots started filling his vision that danced around, dissapeared and reappeared. His head hurt- a lot. He slowed down and pressed a hand against his forehead. He gasped when the pain in his head intensified. That was when everyone else noticed. Even Hajime who had let go of his when they ahd gotten onto the bus. They all turned to him and their smiles melted off of their faces. Nagito pressed his hand harder against his head. The pain wasn't stopping. It was only getting worse. A lot worse. 

"Nagito? Are you sure you're alright?" Someone asked. A female. Her voice sounded like Sonia. Goddamit why couldn't he see anything? Hear anything? Why did his head hurt so bad? The black spots in his vision were increasing and his head felt like it was going to explode. He should've just went home! "I-I'm fine." Nagito tried to say between breaths. He gasped and whimpered. His legs started shaking. Fuck.

Hajime stepped closer and started saying something that Nagito couldn't make out. His legs felt weak. Did he weight this much? His arms were shaking too, his head weighted this much? "Hey loser! What is this?" Hiyoko. "Nagito! Answer me!" Hajime, that was Hajime. "T-This seems bad." Mikan?  
Nagito tried to open his mouth to say that he was alright but he found himself in a situation where he could only exhale. Not inhale air in at all. He shifted both of his hands from his head to his chest and tried to gasp in air pressing down on his chest weakly to try and get the blockage out and get air in. Someone stepped closer to him, grey hair? Or did he just lose all the colors in his vision. No, Peko had grey hair. Was that her?  
Nagito made one more weak gasp before he collapsed and the world went dark.

The next few minutes all happened in a blur. Mikan started to panic. Peko caught Nagito and checked his pulse and his breathing. Luckily both had returned to normal. Hajime ran to his boyfriend. Panicking but managing to somewhat calm himself down. Sonia acted fast and soon an ambulance was already taking Nagito, Hajime and Mikan to the nearest hospital. The others stood there in panic before starting to make their way to the hospital as well. Each and every one of them getting a taxi and telling the driver to be as fast as possible. Saying that they were worried would be an understatement. When they reached the hospital they almost got kicked out immediately from the noise they were making. 

"Hajime!" Fuyuhiko yelled as he and the rest of the class noticed him leaning against a wall and breathing heavily. His eyes were wide and small drops of sweat were running down his face. His hands were clenched into fists tightly and were already turning white. Fuyuhiko tried to ask what was wrong but the brunette stayed quiet. Tears were starting to gather in his eyes. "You're a boy. Man up and tell us what's going on! You got the diagnose about Nagito and Mikan isn't here so it's your duty tell us what's wrong with him!" Mahiru yelled while pointing her finger at Hajime. Despite her attitude it was clear she was just as worried as everyone else. She just didn't want to show it in front of the others. Nekomaru's face turned even more worried as he started speaking. "Don't tell me he's dead." He stated and a few people turned to glare at him for even making such a statement.

Hajime took a deep breath. "The doctors knew who he was. Said he had been here before. Multiple times." He started and everyone fell quiet. Listening to every word he said. "They had his medical records. He's- not well. Not well at all." Hajime stated. "What do you mean?" Peko asked with her face as unreadable as ever but Hajime guessed that she was worried. Just not showing it. "He's... sick. Very sick." The heterochromic boy continued. His green and red eyes starting to glow with tears thats shined in the light. "How sick?" Sonia asked with her hands pressed against her chest together. Hajime took a deep breath and cleaned his eyes from tears. 

"He's dying." 


	2. Hoping for something special

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nagito had been placed in a hospital, his friends wondering if he even knew about what he had. 
> 
> They still want to make the last month as special as possible.

"He didn't tell us? He did know right? That bastard knew right!?" Fuyuhiko asked, well, yelled. But he was quickly quieted by Peko putting a hand onto his shoulder.   
"Maybe he didn't know? He would've told us, right?" Sonia said, she couldn't accept that Nagito would've kept quiet of such an important thing. She tried to keep her composure but her shoulder's were shaking, Gundham and Kazuichi stepped closer to her in order to comfort her. Sonia hugged Gundham like Kazuichi wasn't even there.

"Maybe he didn't want us to worry?" Akane asked, some seemed to agree with her as a few people nodded their heads. It was true, after they haf all woken up Nagito had never told anyone if something was wrong. Once he had gotten a fever so bad that he couldn't even get up from bed, his classmates had caught on when he stopped answerig texts. 

But was that from his illnesses too?

A nurse walked up to the group and Hajime raised his head, trying to fix his composure. Sonia turned around as well.  
"Friends of Nagito Komaeda?" She asked, looking up from the papers she had in hand. Some recognised them as Nagito's medical records. Everylne nodded at the question.  
"Am I correct to assume you didn't know about his diagnoses considering your reactions?" She asked. Another wave of nods, though it took more time since no one wanted to admit it. Even if it was the truth.  
The truth that Nagito was terminally ill. 

"His medical records say that he has stage 3 malignant lymphoma and frontotemporal dementia. We tested it and found out that the records were correct." Some students looked down, some sideways and some closed their eyes. But no one could look at the nurse in the eyes. 

"Frontotemporal dementia?" Mahiru finally asked, breaking the silence. But instead of the nurse answering, it was Mikan.  
"It's a t-terminal disease we-were the frontal lo-lobe of o-ones brain ra-rapidly deteriorates. I-If Nagito r-really has that d-disease, it could e-explain his behaviour d-during the k-killing game." She stuttered, answering the quesyion Mahiru had asked. Everyone was somewhat shocked.  
So why Nagito acted like that was not by his own choice?  
"Could that explain why the despair disease affected him much? Because he was already sick?" Sonia asked, still close to Gundham for comfort. 

The nurse coughed a bit, reminding everyone that he was still there.   
"We have got him to breathe properly again, with machines though. If you want to I can take few of you to come with me. But everyone can't come." She said when she got everyone's attention again. Hajime stood up from the ground immediately.   
"C-Can I see him?" He asked, the nurse nodded. Mikan wanted to come too, she was a nurse after all. Sonia went too, taking Gundham with her. The nurse asked if anyone else wanted to come and Kazuichi volunteered, most likely because Sonia went as well. 

The group started making their way towards Nagito's room, the nurse opened the door and the five students were greeted by a sight that made their worries get even bigger.

Nagito was laying on the hospital bed with a mask over his mouth and nose that was attched to a machine. He was also attached to a heart rate monitor and multiple other things that only Mikan was familiar with. His chest was barely rising and falling and he looked even paler than before, the under of his eyes were darkpurple and his lips were slightly parted, he was wearing a hospital gown and the group noticed his clothing on a bench next to his bed.   
"He's condition is not something to party about, he is not put of the woods yet. Though, with the life expectansy of a month I'm not sure if I can say he will ever be." Everyone frowned at the statement. 

Hajime walked up next to Nagito and out a hand over his, the one with flesh. He brushed his thumb over his hand and then turned to the nurse.   
"When he wakes up, can we atleast soend time with him everyday? To make this month special?" Hajime asked, the nurse seemed troubled. She said she'll ask if it's okay and exited the room. 

Sonia walked up next to Hajime and put a hand over his shoulder.  
"Don't worry, we'll make sure he gets to exit the hospital and spend time with us." She said with a reassuring voice, it still had a tint of worry and melancholy in it though.

"H-Hajime...?" A weak voice came into everyone's ears. They turned to look at Nagito who's eyes were barely open.  
But they were.

"Nagito!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uhh, Nagito's friends want to make his last month special. Let's all hope that they get to do that.


	3. Frustration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nagito's friends want to make the last few weeks exceptional. As much as the hospital lets him do. Things such as swimming or being in high places are out of the question because Nagito could lose conciousness at any moment. He can't stay the night in any other place but the hospital. But his friends won't give up, they want to make sure that Nagito's last weeks are something special.  
> No matter what. 
> 
> But the news of Nagito's diseases seem to take a toll on everyone, and not in a good way.

The 77th class all left after the visiting hours ended. They were quiet, no one said anything. They had gotten permission to take Nagito out of the hospital to spend time with him from 12.00pm-7.00pm, starting from the weeks saturday. But it still ddin't feel right, obviously.  
Why would it feel right if their frend was dying when they couldn't do anything?

Hajime was glad that Nagito had atleast woken up.

"Nagito!" Hajime had yelled when he heard the weak voice next to him. The pale boy had shut his eyes in pain from the noice and the brunette had apologized from causing a scene.  
"You're awake!" Sonia had exclaimed happily, Nagito gave a small, weak smile and closed his eyes.  
"W-What ha-happened?" He muttered quietly.Mikan, Gundham, Sonia and Kazuichi all had stepped a bit coser to the boys bedside. Still keeping their distance though.  
"You lost conciousness and passed out." Kazuichi stated, Nagito made a deep sigh.  
"I guess the cats out of the bag huh?" He chuckled dryly.  
"Nagito... why didn't you tell us?" Sonia asked, worry clear on her face and in her voice.  
The boy stayed quiet. Hajime took a hold of his hand and brushed his fingers against it.  
"Nagito... you trust us right?" He asked, his gaze on the floor and voice full of melancholy.  
"Of course I do, Hajime. It's just that... I didn't want you to worry, or be sad because of something that can't be fixed anymore, that wasn't fixable in the first place." Nagito sighed, he was getting tired as his eyelids started dropping. Or maybe he was losing conciousness again. The nurse asked everyone to leave so that Komaeda could get rest, they did as told but Hajime gave Nagito a little kiss on his forehead before leaving. 

After walking in complete silence for a while, Hajime finally broke the silence.  
"Well, atleast he woke up." He said, trying to cheer people up. But sighing right after the statement.  
"Not that it would make the situation any better." He sighed, but Sonia disagreed.  
"No! I think it was a good sign!" She shouted, catching everyone's attention.  
"Nagito is the ultimate lucky student right? Maybe the fact that he woke up means that he's gonna make it?" Sonia said, smiling confidently. Fuyuhiko growled, frustrated and turned to Sonia. He massaged his temples and his face was morphed into something that clearly revealed how angry and frustrated he was.  
"Do you not know what 'terminal disease' means?" He shouted, startling Sonia. Gundham glared at Fuyuhiko from next to Sonia and Kazuichi told him that he was disrespecting a princess, but Fuyuhiko didn't care.  
"A terminal disease means that there.is.no.cure." Fuyuhiko felt like he needed to spell it out to Sonia in order for her to understand so he stopped walking, stopping everyone else in process as well. He walked up infront of Sonia, even if he was shorter than her he still tried to look intimidating.  
"Do I need to spell it out of you to understand?" He glared at her.

"Nagito has a terminal disease ergo, a disease that has no cure ergo-" Fuyuhiko took a deep breath and shifted his gaze onto the ground under his feet, he didn't think that it would've been this hard to say it.  
"-ergo, Nagito is going to die." Fuyuhiko ended his sentence by raising his head and gaze back up to Sonia who had tears in her eyes, her shoulders were shaking uncontrollably yet again.  
"Hey! You made her cry!" Kazuichi yelled, he ran to Fuyuhiko and went between him and Sonia.  
"If she really believed that a terminal disease could be cured then I needed to spell it out for her, literally." Fuyuhiko replied, Sonia pressed her fists onto her chest and tried to keep her tears in.  
"You sound like you want him to die!" She yelled, the blonde took a step forward with wide eyes and yelled back.  
"Of course I don't! But I'm not gonna be that optimistic and think that a terminal illness can be fuckin cured!" He shouted back, startling Sonia.  
"Apologize to miss Sonia immediately!" Kazuichi yelled, grabbing a tight hold of Fuyuhiko's collar and hoisting him up. Peko stepped in and forcefully wrenched Kazuichi's hands off of Fuyuhiko and stepped infront of him protectively.  
"Oh yeah, you have your 'tool' to protect you. You're too scared to fight me head on!" Kazuichi yelled at him, Peko raised her hand and grabbed her sword. Kazuichi took a step back in fear but Fuyuhiko signaled Peko to put the sword away.  
"Y-Yeah! Fight me head on m-man!" Kazuicho stuttered, afraid.  
"You want to fight a yakuza?" Fuyuhiko growled, he didn't go into a battle position like Kazuichi did. Although his was wrong in many ways. 

"Hey boys stop fighting!" Mahiru stepped forward, Hiyoko stepped next to her at the same time.  
"Yeah you idiots!" She yelled.  
"I don't even want to fight! But apparently this wannabe rainbow just has a bone to pick with me!" Fuyuhiko growled, his hands deep in his pockets.  
"W-Wannabe rainbow!?" Kazuichi yelled.  
"Atleast I don't look like boss baby!" He smirked when he noticed how he finally satrted to aggravate the yakuza.  
"Oh shut up! Atleast I'm not trying to desperately get a girl who clearly doesn't like you and is uncomfortable around you." Fuyuhiko stated, earning a slight chuckle from Gundham and Sonia. Which aggravated the mechanic even more. He took a step closer to the shorter male and continued fighting despite Mahiru's best efforts to end the stupid fight already.  
"Oh you be quiet! I'm really suprised how you didn't kill anyone during the killing game despite being a criminal! Though you came really close and that's why your girlfriend had to take the bullet for you!" Kazuichi yelled, now the yakuza wanted to fight.  
"Do not test yourself Souda!" He said, taking a threatning step forward.  
"Oh try me elf!" The taller boy stated, taking a step forward as well.  
"Kazuichi Souda! Stop this at once!" Sonia finally decided to step in.  
"Of course- WAIT! Why won't you tell him? He's the one who yelled at you!" Souda yelled, he turned back around to Fuyuhiko and saw the smug smile he had on his face.

And he lost it.

Kazuichi ran to the shorter male, grabbed his neck with one hand that caused him to make a strangled cough. Fuyuhiko hit Kazuichi's arm and forced him to let go, but before anyone could say or do anything. Kazuichi had already swinged his fist at Fuyuhiko with full force, hitting the left side of his face. Fuyuhiko hadn't expected a coward like Kazuichi to actually DO something, so the force of the hit caught him by suprise and he fell backwards. Luckily caught by Peko. Everyone looked at Kazuichi, shocked.  
Even Kazuichi himself looked shocked.  
"I-I didn't- I don't kn-" Kazuichi began stuttering words out, trying to form some sort of apology.  
"The hell?!" Fuyuhiko yelled when he had got back up.  
"Well you're the one th-" Kazuichi couldn't finish his sentence when Hajime suddenly yelled.

"Stop this at once!" 

Everyone looked at the heterochromic boy, his eyes well full of anger. Heck, maybe even rage.  
"I get that you're all angry, frustrated, worried, sad but this is not how you should cope with those feelings!" Hajime continued, everyone stayed quiet.  
"Kazuichi-" Hajime said, turning to the boy who flinched.  
"-I know that you're angry and worried, but getting it out on Fuyuhiko like that isn't going to help one bit!" Hajime stated and Kazuichi looked at the ground.  
"If Nagito was here to see this he probably wouldn't even think of us as ultimates, or "symbols of hope" for that matter." He sighed, Nekomaru stepped in. Not wanting Hajime to carry all the burden.  
"We're supposed to make this month special to him! So we can't have fights like this with eachother." He roared, everyone included in the fight looked down in shame. 

"He's right, Fuyuhiko, Kazuichi you two stop fighting. We can't fight with eachother like this if we want to make our friend happy." Peko replied, her face as unreadable as ever. Fuyuhiko could see through her mask though, he saw how she really felt.  
And she was just as angry, sad and frustrated as everyone else. She did a better job in hiding it. 

"Hey uhh, Fuyuhiko. I'm sorry. I'm a jerk." Kazuichi said as he scratched the back of his neck. Fuyuhiko huffed and replied with a 'don't sweat it' and then smirked at the boy. Everyone smiled at eachother.  
"So tomorrow infront of the hospital at 11.30?" Ibuki asked, everyone nodded and she smiled brightly. Skipping away. Everyone else shared their goodbyes and went home to sleep.

Though, you could bet that no one actually got any sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, everyone's on the edge but Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko are a little bad at keeping it in.


	4. Fatherly talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nekomaru arrives at the hospital early and decides to wait in Nagito's room, turns out. He has been awake the whole night.
> 
> Nekomaru has to olay the father the boy doesn't have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, for the next chapters a few people from the 77th class will be spending time with Nagito alone. But don't worry, they're gonna spend time as a class as well.

Nekomaru Nidai, the ultimate team manager was standing infront of the hospital where his friend was staying. He looked at his watch and realized that he was 2 hours early.   
"I guess that I forgot to watch the time." Nekomaru thought, he stood infront the doors for a few minutes until he decides to go in. Nidai walkes up to the front desk with the lasy in it who raised her head.  
"Hello, I am here to see Nagito Komaeda."   
"Family or friend?"   
"Friend, one of them who will be taking him out to spens time with our class."   
The lady typed something on her computer and then handed a paper to Nekomaru.  
"All right, here is the room he is staying in. A nurse will come to get you two when the rest arrive." She said, Nekomaru thanked her and began making his way to Komaeda's room.

"344, 345, 346... 347. Here it is." Nekomaru opened the door with the key and stepped in.   
"Nagito, are you awa-ke...?" Nekomaru stoppee at the door when he saw the boy hughing his knees, quietly sobbing. Nekomaru guessed he heard the door open because he quickly wiped his eyes and looked at Nekomaru, flashing a smile.  
"Nekomaru! May I ask what brings you here?" Nagito smiled, the larger of the two noticed his bloodshot eyes, dark eyebags and tear stains. It was fairly obvious.  
"Have you been crying the entire night?" Nekomaru asked as he closed the door, worry all over his features.  
"What are you talking about? I have not cried at al-"   
"Don't lie to me Komaeda, I saw you. Your eyes are as red as blood, your eyebags are darker than mine and I only slept for two hours. Also, there are tears on your face." Nekomaru said, he as not going to leave any room for Nagito to argue. 

But had he really cried for the whole night?

Nagito was known for his self-hating comments, ones that Nekomaru hated hearing. He hated hearing how a classmate of his was saying how he was worthless and just overall garbage. Because it was not true.  
He might have acted like a little shit during the killing game, but it was not his fault that he had a disease that was affecting his socializing.   
Nekomaru was wondering.  
If Nagito was crying, because he was dying?

Nagito looked away from Nekomaru and sniffled, he grabbed his head with his hands and turned to face his legs that were infront of him. He had tears streaming down his face, his lips were morphed into a forced smile that just screamed at Nekomaru about how desperate he was. 

"I-I didn't r-remember t-the that t-the time I h-had was limited. I w-was just st-startingnto feel ha-happy a-and then-" Nagito's breaths came out as short gasps and he clutched at his head harder.  
"I don't wanna die!"   
He screamed, closing his eyes tightly, letting tears fall down his cheeks. He started sobbing uncontrollably and Nekomaru ran to him, putting a hand around his shoulder. 

"Hey! Hey! Calm down okay?" Nekomaru yelled, he shifted his arm over his back and rubbed small circles on it.   
"I don't want to die..." Nagito mumbled again, clutching his sheets against his chest and placing his face on it.   
"Nagito, I'm sorry. I know how it feels. I too, have a life expectancy. Up to 20 years." Nekomaru said, trying to make his rough voice sound gentle, fatherly even. Nagito looked up at him and only then Nekomaru realized how vulnerable he looked. Like even a stick could break his bones. 

He swore at that moment that during the month no one was going to hurt him.

"I know it's unfair, but we just gotta live with these things. Trust me, the others and I will make this month feel special." Nidai said, he smiled symphatically at Nagito. The albino started coughing which worried Nekomaru, but thankfully it ended as soon as it started.   
"H-hehe... Thank you, Nekomaru." He said, smiling at the manager, tears still shining in his eyes. Nekomaru noticed how even such a simple task as smiling seemed to be troublesome for Nagito.   
"Have your parents come to visit you yet? Have they been informed that you're here?" Nekomaru asked the sick boy. Nagito seemed to get trouble by the question as he looked away from Nidai again. 

"Does he not have good ties to his family?" Nekomaru thought.  
"They died in a plane crash when I was three." Nagito said under his breath, just loud enough for the other to hear.   
Just how many secrets has he kept from us?   
"They- what? I-I'm sorry to hear that... d-does Hajime...?" Nekomaru stuttered, he didn't know what to say.  
"Don't worry, Hajime knew. I told him. The only thing he didn't know about was this." Nagito said, gesturing to everything around him.   
"Well, I guess I did tell him about it during the neo world program. But I guess he thought it was a joke." Nagito sighed, Nekomaru was shocked.   
"Even if you were messed up during the simulation you wouldn't have lied about that! Why did Hajime not see that?" Nekomaru shouted with his usual loud voice, Nagito shut his eyes and grabbed his head in pain. Nekomaru noticed and apologizes quickly, apparently he still had a headache.   
"It's fine, my head just hurts."

Nekomaru and Nagito stayed in awkward silence for a while until a nurse came in the room. The two turned to face her.  
"Oh, are the others here?" Nekomaru asked, the nurse shook her head and walked over to the patient bed. She greeted Nagito who greeted her back and then changed the medicine bag.  
"Are you hungry? Thirsty?" The nurse asked, Nagito shook his head but Nekomaru was having none of it.  
"You should get atleast something, Nagito." He said, Nagito wanted to say anything in order to not have to eat something but Nekomaru had already turned back to the nurse.  
"Could you bring atleast something to him?" He asked, the nurse nodded and left. 

"I really wasn't that hungry..." Nagito mumbled.  
"Don't give me that, I know that you what you weight and it's way too low for someone your age. And knowing you you haven't eaten anything since we were in that restaurant." Nekomaru stated, Nagito couldn't argue with that. Since it was true.   
But he really wasn't that hungry.   
But mayne he could eat atleast a little bit, to please Nekomaru. 

"You know, we planned to go to the beach. We know you were forbidden from swimming but we can do other things." Nidai said while turning back to the boy next to him who was staring at the heart rate monitor that was attached to him.   
"Okay... sounds nice." Komaeda turned back to Nekomaru to smile weakly, Nekomaru returned it with a symphatetic smile. The nurse returned with a sandwhich and handed it to Komaeda.   
"Here." She said, Nagito took it from her and thanked. The nurse went out of the room an Nagito took one small bite of the sandwhich and then set it onto the counter next to him.   
"You should eat more than that." Nekomaru stated, he felt like a father. Lecturing his son.   
"If I eat half of it will ot satisfy you?" Nagito asked, Nidai thought about it and nodded after he realized he needed the force of the gods to get him to eat the whole thing. 

Nagito took a good 10 minutes to eat half of the thing before setting it to the counter and pulling the sheets higher over his body.   
"Have you slept at all?" Nekomaru asked, he went to the othersde of the room and pulled a chair from there in order to sit next to Nagito. The boy shook his head.   
"How about I go and wait outside for the others and you stay here and sleep?" Nekomaru asked, he stood up to leave but he felt a weak hand grab at his sleeve.   
"N-No... pl-please." Nagito's weak voice mumbled. Nekomaru looked at him for a while before sighing and sitting back down. If Nagito didn't want to be alone he wouldn't leave. 

The boy beside him fell asleep rather quickly and soon the boy was sleeping peacefully. Nekomaru looked at his watch.  
"1 hour."   
He took out his phone and typed a message in the class' groupchat.

Dad:   
When is everyone coming?

Babygansgta:  
Why are you there an hour early?

Dad:  
I arrived two hours early actually, I've been staying with Nagito. 

Hajimeme:   
You have? Is he okay? 

Dad:  
Yeah, he sleeping at the moment. Stayed up all night.

Step on me:  
H-Has he e-eaten anything?

Dad:   
Half a sandwhich

Gummybear:  
Did she actually write the stutters?

Mom:  
Yes, yes she did. 

Disney princess:  
Me and Gundham will be arriving shortly.

Nekomaru put his phone away and faced the sleeping boy next to him.   
He hoped the month would be special.  
And that no one would harm him. In anyway.


	5. Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The 77th class finds out that it's the day before Nagito's birthday.  
> He does not know how to feel about it.

A nurse entered the room where Nagito Komaeda and Nekomaru Nidai were both sleeping peacefully after a night with almost no sleep at all. One on the bed and one on the chair right next to it. Nekomaru woke up the moment the door closed after the nurse.  
"Your friends are here. Come into the lobby when you both are ready and we will go through the rules." The nurse said before exiting the room, he slammed the door shut which woke Nagito up with a jump. Nekomaru had to fight back the urge to go teach the man how to close a door. He turned around to face Nagito who had just sat up on the bed and was know cleaning his eyes with his hands.  
"How long did I sleep?" He asked, honestly, Nidai had no idea. He most likely had fell asleep soon after putting his phone away. He checked his wristwatch and it confirmed that they had slept for a good 3 hours.  
"3 hours. Better than nothing but you still need to get a good night sleep next night okay?" Nekomaru stated, Nagito shrugged and turned to face him again.  
"The others are here?" He asked, Nekomaru replied positively and the teen stood up from the bed cautiously, taking support from the edge of it and setting one foot onto the ground and carefully standing up.  
"You can go already, I'll change and then catch up to you." Nagito stated, Nekomaru nodded and exited the room. He didn't go far though and only walked up next to the door and leaned against the wall. Soon enough Komaeda stepped out of the room with the clothes he had worn yesterday when he had been brought to the hospital. A light blue shirt, black jeans and sneakers. His prosthetic was shining from under the sleeve of his shirt and Nekomaru tried to do his best to not look at it, it brought back painful memories he did not want to remember right now. Of their time as ultimate despair, of Chiak-

This class really can't keep anyone alive huh?

Soon enough the two made it to the lobby where there weren't many people outside of the 77th class members waiting for Nekomaru and Nagito. When they were noticed some waved excitedly, some just waved and smiled or just waved. But Hajime stood up immediately and rushed to give Nagito a hug. The only reason they didn't fall was because Nekomaru caught them with his arm.  
"Heh, sorry Nagito." Hajime said awkwardly after letting go and scratching the back of his neck.  
"It's alright Hajime." Nagito said with a slight smile. He looked at his classmates and noticed Sonia standing up happily.  
"Alright! Now we are ready to go to the beach!" She smiled excitedly, but she had to sit back down as a nurse came to address the group with the rules they needed to follow.  
"So you're the group I need to tell the rules to?" She asked, receiving a couple of nods. 

"Alright, so you need to be back before midnight, no swimming but he can come to the beach with you, no exercises and if there is a special treatment you need to be back in time for that. And you can't leave the country, Understood?" She listed off everything that was on the paper note in her hand. Everyone nodded and she left, leaving the class alone.  
"Well what are we waiting for? Let's go!" Ibuki screamed, earning a few smiles from her friends.  
"Yeah." Hajime nodded and the group started to exit the hospital.

Once outside the hospital they decided to walk to the beach since it was a sunny day and the beach was not too far away so that Komaeda could walk there.  
"What day is it by the way?" Nagito suddenly asked in the middle of their trip.  
"27.4, how come?" Imposter responded from next to Nagito.  
"No reason, just asking." He shrugged but Hajime looked at Imposter with a suprised expression.  
"We're that far in the month? Nagito! Tomorrow is your birthday!" Hajime yelled excitedly, suprising a few people.  
"Oh wow, I'll get to turn 18 before I die. Wohoo." Nagito thought in his head, he didn't say it out loud though, if Hajime was that excited about his birthday then he can be.  
"Another thing you haven't told us. I bet only Hajime knew your birthday." Hiyoko snarled from infront of the line.  
"Actually it read on the student handbooks, everyone's birthdays read there." Mahiru stated to the shorter girl next to her.  
"But you still could've told us that it was your birthday tomorrow! I mean, now we have to plan a party in a day!" Ibuki shouted, annoyed. This caught Nagito off guard, he was alright if some of his friends were suprised or excited about his birthday. But a party?  
"Wait wait- A party?" He asked, turning to the musician.  
"Yeah? I mean, it's your 18th birthday of course you need a party, duh." Ibuki stated it like it was obvious.  
"I haven't had a birthday party since I was 3, I haven't even celebrated my birthday since I was 10." Nagito said, slightly quieter than his previous statement. Ibuki came into an immediate stop, stopping the whole group in the process. 

"You haven't celebrated your birthday in 7 years?" She asked with wide eyes and a low tone of voice. She grabbed Nagito's shoulders tightly and stared right into his soul.  
"Uhhh... no?" Nagito replied, raising his left eyebrow in confusion.  
"Then this one's gotta be the biggest party you've ever been to!" Ibuki shouted like Nagito has broken a law.  
"Well that won't be hard to achieve, but really. You don't need to do anything it's just one regular day of the year. Just like the rest." Nagito shrugged, his statement made Ibuki grab his shoulders yet again.  
"We are gonna make your birthday party the most amazing event of the year! And you are gonna attend it and have fun!" She yelled.  
"Teruteru! Can you-"  
"Do not be afraid, I will create the perfect meal for the perfect party." Teruteru replied sassily. Nagito sighed in defeat and Hajime wrapped his arm around the boys shoulder.  
"Just let them do this for you this once." He whispered into Komaeda's ear who smiled at the brown haired teen, he still wasn't that excited about the idea of a party just for him. But maybe he could let his friends do it, just this once.  
No wait- this was the first and last time they were gonna get to plan Nagito a birthday party.

The rest of the trip was filled with chatter of some of the others talking about the party they were going to host tomorrow, more specifically Ibuki, Mahiru, Sonia, Teruteru, Gundham and Kazuichi. Gundham most likely just wanting to help Sonia and Kazuichi just wanting to impress her. They did make it to the beach eventually and Hiyoko ran into the changing rooms immediately, being quickly followed by the rest of the girls. Imposter walked up to the side of the beach, being followed by both Nagito and Hajime. They sat down onto the towels that had been brought by Sonia and Gundham. Soon enough, everyone who had went in to change came running into the water. Some of splashed on Nagito, Hajime and Imposter who all chuckled and tried to shield themselves with their arms and hands. 

Soon everything Nagito could hear was the happy laughs and screams of his friends and he couldn't help but smile and chuckle a bit as well.  
"You two can go to swim if you want to, you don't need to stay here." Nagito stated, Imposter shook his head.  
"I wasn't going to be swimming anyway, and now that I can keep company to you I have a valid reason in doing so." He answered and Nagito smiled at him, he shifted his gaze to Hajime who was looking at their classmates with a smile on his face. Nagito called out to him and the brunette looked at him.  
"You can go if you want to, I'll be fine." He smiled, Hajime nodded after a while. He stood up, gave Nagito a kiss on the lips, and went to change to his swimming wear. 

Nagito and Imposter looked at their classmates for a while before Nagito covered his mouth with his arm to quietly cough, Imposter sighed and looked at him.  
"How do you feel?" He asked and Nagito chuckled a bit.  
"I get that you're not meaning the cough." He smiled sadly at the sun. Imposter shoom his head and they both sighed.  
"I dunno, I guess I never really registered it that these diseases were eventually going to kill me. But now that's it been made very clear I- I don't know what to think." He sighed, but then he looked at hi friends, his family again and a smile made its way onto his face.  
"But I have a feeling that this month is going to be very special."


	6. Aunt Becky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nagito's luck really doesn't seem to give him a moment to breathe. He runs into his aunt, quite literally.   
> It goes just as well as imagined.

Nagito watched his fellow classmates, his friends, play in the ocean for who knows how many hours. He had a small wish in the back of his mind that he could join them but he pushed that thought away and instead continued talking to imposter about basically anything that came to mind.  
"I'm gonna get us some drinks. Anything specific you want?" Nagito asked.  
"A smoothie, but I could get those for us." Imposter replied. Nagito said that it's fine and stood up carefully. He took a few careful steps forward before starting to walk normally. He made his way to the guy who was selling the smoothies and went in line. It was quite a hot day so it was no suprise that there was a long line. The woman in front of him seemed familiar to Nagito but he couldn't quite figure out how. 

When Nagito's turn came he ordered his two smoothies and turned to leave when he accidentantly bumped into the woman and the drinks spilled on her yellow flower dress.  
"I am so very sorry miss." Nagito said and set the drinks back onto the counter. Luckily he had been last on the line so the drinks hadn't spilled on anyone else. But Nagito now recognized who the woman was. Although it had been long since he last saw her he could never forget his aunts furious expression that he had seen way too many times. Too many to count in fact. A chill went the sick boys spine when he noticed the recognition on his aunts, Beckys, face.   
"Nagito. Nagito Komaeda." She said with both suprise and rage. She grabbed his wrist tightly -tightly enought to cause pain- and then started pulling him away from the stand despite the boys protest and pathetic attempts at trying to pull the womans hand off his wrist. 

She pulled him slightly closer to the ocean. People apparently would rather swim in the pool than in the ocean ebcause the pool that was a little farther away was full of people. But there was only a couple of people beside Nagito's class at the beach. Becky pulled at his wrist and he stumbled forward. Just in front of the woman, a place where he really didn't want to be in.   
"I'm r-really sorry about the dress. Yeah I'm the worst. I'll- I'll buy you another one, A-Aunt Becky." Nagito stuttered quietly, unnaturally quietly for him. He was trying to choose the right words so that he wouldn't infuriate his aunt even more. But apparently it was too late already considering how only a few secinds after his collar was grabbed tightly and he was pulled forward. 

"You sure as hell will buy me a new one you little shit! I can't believe I could ever take care of your stupid ass!" Becky's face was red now from screaming. That was going to leave a sore throat. Komaeda tried his best to hide his head inside his hood but to no avail. He tried to look over to his classmates and managed to see that they were all looking towards the two before he got slapped. Hard.   
His face turned into the other direction with force and he could feel the other side of his face starting to flare up in pain. It didn't hurt him enough to cause tears, but they came anyway from the suprise of the force. 

Hajime stopped playing in the water with Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko for a while to look over at Imposter and Nagito. Only to notice that the latter was no where to be seen.   
"Hey Twogami! Where's Nagito?" Fuyuhiko shouted from next to Hajime.   
"He went out to get some drinks." Was the response when everyone suddenly heard distant screaming. They all looked over to see their friend be dragged by a woman and then grabbed by his collar.   
"What the hell?" Kazuichi asked. Everyone had swam closer by now and they were looking at the scene unfolding. Nekomaru, Akane, Hajime, Sonia, Fuyuhiko and Peko had already stood up from the water with the intention of moving forward when the woman raised her hand and slapped Nagito with so much force the sound of it carried its way to even the students still farther away.   
"That's it." Hajime said. Not being the only on with the same thought. 

Becky let go of Komaeda immediately once he saw a group of angry teens coming towards them. Nagito's legs crumbled under him and he fell on his knees.   
"Ah, Nagito are these your friends? Hello! My name is Becky and I'm Nagito's aunt." Becky said with an obviously faked smile. She grabbed Nagito's wrist from the ground and pulled him up before offering her hand to the group.   
"It's a pleasure to meet y-" Fuyuhiko grabbed the womans hand and pulled her forward.   
"Don't fucking play nice you bitch. We saw all of that." He said and Becky dropped her nice guy act at once.   
"Get your filthy hands off of me before I get security!" She shouted and pulled her hand out of Kuzuryu's grasp.   
"Yeah it will look real good for you considering that red hand mark on Nagito's face." The blonde said. Becky's hands closed into fists, still having Nagito's wrist in one and the boy grabbed her hand with his own and tried to pull himself free. Thankfully Hajime noticed his peril and went to forcefully pull the woman off of him before hugging him tight against him. Nagito immediately burried his face against the of Hajime's neck. He wanted nothing more than to get out of the situation. 

"You freaks! You can't show that behaviour here in a public beach! There are children here!" She shouted and started storming forward but before she could get in even three steps a strong pair of hands grabbed her shoulders.  
"Is this the woman causing trouble?" A security guard asked Sonia who nodded.   
"Miss, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave immediately." He said. Becky's eyes seemed to burn with rage but she quickly turned around with a huff and left the beach. 

The security guard was very quick to apologize to Nagito about the womans behaviour, being told that it was fine when it obvioulsy was not. The class decided to leave and try another place tomorrow. They all did decide that they would walk Nagito back to prevent a similar event.   
"That lady was such a loser!" Hiyoko exclaimed while crossing her arms. Nagito had to agree. He smiled when the blonde started to list off every single thing she was going to do to the woman if she ever saw her again. One of them being 'Put bugs in her hair'. Nagito started laughing, a genuine happy one, not the crazy ones he pulled off during the killing game. Everyone turned to him and cracked smiles of their own.   
"If you do that she'll hate you forever." Nagito smiled. Hiyoko smirked at him.  
"Good."


	7. News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a rather traumatizing run in with his aunt, Nagito is left to go back to the hospital. Tired. The news he hears from his nurse does not help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was reading the past chapters of this fic and I uhh- wanna rewrite them? I mean they're just bad lmao. I wouldn't make a separate fic for them but just rewrite them and then inform about it on the next update. I woulnd't change any of the story but just add a few more scenes and chnage the writing style a little. What do you people think?

After a rather... traumatic experience with Nagito's aunt Becky, Nagito and his friends had decided that they should hang out another day. To give Nagito a chance to rest. They dropped him off at the hospital before everyone started going their separate ways. Well. Everyone but Hajime. The brunette turned to Nagito with a worried expression. "Hey... Nagito." He started. Okay... this was going to be emotional wasn't it? "Yeah?" Nagito said while turning around as well. His eyes widenned in shock and suprise when he felt Hajime's arms wrap around him. His grip was tight, but not tight enough to hurt. It felt like... like he wanted to protect Nagito from anything else that could possibly ever hurt him again. Nagito stared in shock for a short while before melting into Hajime's hold of him. His knees almost gave out under him but it didn't matter. Even if they did he was sure that Hajime would catch him.

"What happened today... it scared me Nagito." Hajime mumbled from where his face was burried in Nagito's shoulder. "I know I shouldn't be saying that I mean- YOU should be the one saying you're scared and not me but... I thought that- she was going to take you away. Into a place that you wouldn't be happy in." He then continued. "It's not like I want to stay at the hospital. But I'd rather stay here than there." Nagito stated while looking straight ahead of him into the dark street that was dimly lit by the street lamps. "That's why I was scared. No one wants to stay at a hospital but to stay at her place? After seeing what she did to you by just SEEING you? I-I don't know If I could-" Hajime struggled to get the words he wanted to say out of his mouth when his voice was being stolen away by quiet hiccups that started to escape his mouth. "D-Dammit." He stated and removed his right arm from Nagito's back to wipe away the tears streaming down his face. Komaeda tensed a little but relaxed again when the familiar touch returned again.

"Hajime... I'm sorry that such trash like me caused you so much pain..." Nagito mumbled and the grip on his back tightened. "Don't say that Nagito! I thought you were over those comments about yourself?" Hajime first shouted but his voice quickly died out into a quiet whisper. Nagito could feel small wet drops of water run down his back. Was Hajime crying? "I-I'm sorry, Hajime..." Nagito stated. He could feel his own eyes start to water as well. Dammit. His grip tightened as well as he desperately hung onto the back of Hajime's shirt. They stayed ike that for who knows how long. For seconds-minutes-hours? Who knows. They sure don't. Hajime started to slowly unwrap his arms from around Nagito and the pale boy did the same shortly after. "I... Should probably go inside already before someone calls the police on me." Nagito said with a small chuckle. Hajime smiled at him and nodded. He planted a small kiss on top of Nagito's lips and then said his goodbyes. Starting to walk away.

Nagito turned to the huge doors that lead inside the hospital and sighed. He started walking inside and he pushed the doors open while stepping inside. A nurse was immediately at his face with some kind of notepad in her arms. "You are 5 minutes late! If you want to continue going outside you need to learn to come back in time!" The nurse yelled. But Nagito didn't exactly have enough patience for screaming at his face anymore. "What does it matter if I come a little late? It shouldn't matter at this point." Nagito stated as he stepped away from the nurse who let out a shocked and offended noise. Her eyes widenned and she looked like she was preparing to scream her lungs out. And that's what she did.

"What does it matter?! WE are keeping you alive! You should be grateful for that! Or do you want to die!?" She shouted. Nagito turned around to face her. "No. I don't. But there isn't exacty anything I or you can do about it." He stated. The lady was about to open her mouth to argue when another nurse. Younger than her entered the scene. "Miss Yabusame please stop shouting. Your screaming is disturbing the patients." The nurse stated firmly. This one was a nurse that Nagito recognized. Akemi Fujita. She had been a lot with Nagito when he had been alone in the hospital. "This ungrateful teenager is being stubborn and disrespective! We are the reason he is still alive!" The lady shouted. Nagito stepped closer to her. He was taller so he had to look down on her and she shut up. "If you can cure me I'll be grateful. But screaming in my face when I'm already trying to cope with the fact that I'm gonna be dead when this month is over." Nagito stated while still staring down at the lady. "Do you know how that feels like? To know that you have to say goodbye to EVERYTHING you know and care about in less than a month? Yeah. It's pretty scary."

He said and turned around. Starting to walk towards his room when Akemi ran after him. "Oh yeah... I was supposed to tell you. Based on your latest tests your cancer has advanced faster and your frontotemporal dementia has not went into a better direction since our last meeting. I'm afraid you might not even have to the end of the month if a miracle doesn't happen."

Nagito doesn't know what happened in the next following seconds. Everything seemed to slow down. Or fasten? No matter what happened to the time around him he was suddenly in his room. Having slammed his door shut and collapsed onto the ground- sliding down the door and pressing his knees against his chest. He hid his face into his knees and the fabric of his pants brushed at his now wet cheeks. "Why am I crying?" He thought as another choked hiccup escaped his throat. "I thought I wanted this." He said with a broken voice as he he looked at his hands. He closed them into fists and pressed them against his face. Wet tears slid down his fists and arms. Falling down onto the floor and leaving a stain onto it that faded got a friend in a couple of seconds. And another one, and another one, and another one. The tears just didn't seem to be stopping. Nagito cursed under his breath and wrapped his arms around himself. He felt his phone in his pocket and his eyes widenned a little while tears still streamed down from them. "I should probably tell the others. So an incident like from last time doesn't happen again..." Nagito thought as he stared at the black screen of his phone. He pressed the power button on the side of his phone and the screen lit up. He squinted his eyes as the bright light of the screen flashed in the dark room. He tuned the brightness down and unlocked his phone. He went into their classes group chat and hesitated for a bit. Before taking a deep breath and started to write.

 **Komemeda:** Guys

 **Komemeda:** I've got some news

 **Hajimeme:** What? Are they good or bad?

 **Komemeda:** Depends on how you want to see it

 **Boss baby:** What are they about 

**Komemeda:** My illnesses

 **Disney princess:** WHAT

 **Disney princess:** TELL US IMMEDIATELY NAGITO

 **Soda can:** You should listen to her man

 **Animal crossing:** You do not defy the dark queen you mortal soul

 **Hajimeme:** Are they good news?

 **Komemeda:** Depends

 **Two-gami:** That does not help us 

**Komemeda:** A nurse told me when I returned to the hospital today

 **Komemeda:** I guess that if you hate me these would be good news

 **Food:** SO they're bad news then

 **Komemeda:** I suppose so...

 **Boss baby:** Just tell us dammit

 **Komemeda:** Apparently

 **Komemeda:** I have less than a month left

 **Komemeda:** Possibly only 1-2 weeks if I'm lucky then 3

Nagito stared at the screen of his phone. Noticing how no one replied anymore. "Haha..." Nagito started laughing. It was a loud desperate laugh that turned into desperate cries that hurt his throat. He screamed like a child as a broken sob after another left his lips. He hoped no one would come into his room. He wanted to be alone. He didn't pay attention to his phone anymore. To the waves of messages being concerned and screaming and worried and just- as sad and broken as he was. The only person who had not replied... Was Hajime... But he didn't notice that. All he saw through his blurry vision was his shaking hand in front of his face, on top of his knees. All he heard through his desperate cries was the clock ticking counting down the seconds that were taking away his time. His life. 

"I don't wanna go!" 


	8. Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hajime's mind was cloudy and quiet. Well, not exactly completely quiet. There was a quiet static noise going on in his head. It was quiet... but it wasn't stopping. It just continued and continued and never stopped. There was nothing else on his mind as he sat on the bench of his mothers car as they drove towards the hospital Nagito was staying in. Toward the hospital Hajime never wanted to see again. He looked out of the window and saw the hospital- the static got louder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah- the next chapter out this soon? I even suprised myself.   
> So I managed to update the first chapter into a writing I am more proud of. If you want to you can check it out! It's much better now.

Hajime's mind was cloudy and quiet. Well, not exactly completely quiet. There was a quiet static noise going on in his head. It was quiet... but it wasn't stopping. It just continued and continued and never stopped. There was nothing else on his mind as he sat on the bench of his mothers car as they drove towards the hospital Nagito was staying in. Toward the hospital Hajime never wanted to see again. He looked out of the window and saw the hospital- the static got louder. His mother parked the car and turned to him with a worried expression. "Do you want me to come with you?" She asked. Hajime satyed quiet and just stared at the light shining out of the windows of the hospital. He had been here just now. Maybe if he had not left he could have helped Nagito with the news. Helped him in some wat at the very least. His mother asked the question again and this time Hajime registered it. He shook his head quietly and exited the car. Slamming the door shut a little harder than intended. He would have to apologize for that later. 

Hajime ran through the parking lot and almost bumped into the doors. He opened them and quickly rushed to the receptionist. "Hello. How may I help you?" He asked with a kind smile. He looked young. Probably not that much older than Hajime. But that didn't matter now. "Can you give me Nagito Komaeda's room?" He stated quickly while trying to catch his breath. "I'm sorry but visiting hours have already ended." The man replied. That's exactly what his mom had told him- but he didn't exactly care either. "Please. It's important." Hajime was practically pleading at that point. He needed to see Nagito. He just had to see him. Had to help him. "I am sorry but I cannot do anything about it. Maybe visit tomorrow?" He said. Hajime let out a frustrated sigh before remembering something that Nagito had told him. 

"Check his file."   
"What?"  
"Please?"

The receptionist looked weirded out but did so anyway. He opened the file labeled Nagito Komaeda and quickly looked over to the information. His eyes landed on a specific note that was highlighted in red. Hajime didn't know the exact thing that read there but Nagito had mentioned that because of his condition anyone who requests to see him can do so. So that he can spend as much time with those he loves before he... goes. The receptionist close the file and quickly told Hajime the room his boyfriend was staying in. Apologizing for the trouble at the same time. Hajime replied with a half assed 'It's okay' before running to the elevator as fast as his legs could carry him. He swinged back and forth in place as the elevator ascended. He didn't care that people were staring at him. Probably thinking he was weird. He didn't care anymore. The elevator doors opened and Hajime ran out of the small space. 

"389..."  
"390..."  
"391..."  
"392!"

"There!" Hajime yelled and immediately slapped his hands in front of his mouth in embarassement. He quickly knocked on the door and entered the room before anyone would come to look for the sound of the noise. He shut the door behind him and looked over to the room. He didn't spot Nagito immediately but when he did he could feel his heart relax and fasten at the same time. Nagito was sitting on his bed with his back against the wall behind it. His knees were against his chest and his face was burried in them. His fluffy white hair shooting in every direction and probably getting in his eyes as well. His back shook slightly in uncontrolled patterns as choked off sobs escaped his lips. Occasionally a desperate wheeze for air could be heard that then broke into yet another set of sobs. Sobs that where choked off and broken. His hands were gribbing tightly at the fabric of his jeans as if it would bring him comfort. Didn't seem to be working. Hajime called out the boys name and his sobs died out for a second. He raised his head slightly and Hajime could see his face. The sight made his heart ache even more. His eyes were watery and red- so were his cheeks. When he saw Hajime he tried to stand up but the brunette immediately rushed to him and put his arm around him. Succesfully keeping the boy seated on his bed. Nagito wrapped his arms tightly around Hajime and pressed his head against his boyfriends neck. The cries were back. And they were even more desperate than Hajime had ever heard them. 

"Shh..." Hajime whispered into the pale boys ear. His voice was soft and calming- but it wasn't enough to stop Nagito. His desperate cries entered Hajime's ears and he could feel tears of his own start to gather in his eyes. It didn't take long for them to start dropping down his cheeks as well. Small drops of tears hit the bed under them as they cried onto eachothers shoulders. They were alone. No one was going to bother them. They could cry for as long as they wanted and no one was going to say anything about it. Because no one but they would even know about it- that it had even happened in the first place. Hajime didn't know when was the last time he had cried so much. Probably back when he was a little kid. He felt like a little kid now. He just wanted to stay in the comforting touch of his boyfriend forever. He didn't want to let go. Why did he have to let go? He didn't want to... 

There were no 'It's okay's or 'Everything will be alright's heard. Because they both knew that they would be lies. Even if they wanted them to be the truth. They were just lies. All of them. Nothing was okay and nothing would be alright. And they both knew it. They cried for a long time. Never letting go of eachother. They needed the others comfort. They both knew they needed it. So they didn't let go.   
Seconds passed. Maybe minutes until they finally let go of eachother. Nagito lied down and his head hit the side of Hajime's leg. The brunette started petting the sick boy's head- playing with every strand of hair his fingers touched. Nagito was cleaning his eyes with his sleeves and they were soon a darker shade of the color they originally had been. "I-I'm... s-sorry. Y-You shouldn't be c-crying over tr-tras," Hajime pressed a finger gently onto his boyfriends lips. The white haired boy kept quiet and just continued to clean the wet tears off of his face. A few tears of Hajime's own landed onto the other boys face and he gave a small laugh. It didn't sound right. It just sounded broken and wrong and- just... wrong. Like one of Nagito's crazy breathless laughs from the hope restoration programm. The sick boy gave a small smile from behind his hands but it quickly melted off of his face. The room fell quiet again. Only audible sounds being their breathing which was finally starting to calm down and the clocks organized ticking. 

Tick  
Tack  
Tick  
Tack

"Hajime... What are we gonna do?" Nagito suddenly asked. "I don't know Nagito... I wish I did but- I have no idea." Hajime replied while pressing his back against the wall behind him. He slapped his hand against his face and sighed. Nagito let out a small sigh as well. "It's okay. I don't know what to do either." He said while looking at his hands which he then closed into fists. "Don't worry Nagito. We'll figure something out." Hajime stated and pressed a kiss against Nagito's forehead. The pale boy closed his eyes and when Hajime pulled away he pressed a kiss to the brunettes lips. "I certainly hope you do." He said with a smile.


	9. Leaf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He put his phone beside him and slapped his hand against his head. He felt movement around where Nagito was and he looked down. Nagito had wrapped his arms around Hajime's waist and his face was pressed against Hajime's stomach. 
> 
> Why was his boyfriend so fucking cute?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I probably should stop writing these chapters during my classes.

Hajime or Nagito didn't have any sort of idea on how much time had passed. All they knew- or rather Hajime knew- was that they had fallen asleep at some point. Hajime had fallen asleep while leaning against the wall behind him and the first thing he felt when he woke up was a burning pain in his back. The next thing he noticed was that Nagito had fallen asleep with his head on top of Hajime's thighs. "Huh- so I've been demoted to a pillow?" Hajime smiled and took one of the white strands of hair that shot toward him between his fingers and played around with it. The hair was soft as Hajime played around with it with his fingers. He relaxed and even forgot about the pain in his back- until he remembered something and he tensed up immediately in panic. "Fuck. Mom is outside waiting." He said out loud under his breath.

Hajime took his phone out of his pocket while being careful to not wake Nagito up. He was lucky that he always kept the brightness of his screen so low that sometimes he could not even see what he was doing. He unlocked it and took a small moment to pray to whatever god was up there and then scrolled down on his contact list- stopping at his mom. He clicked on the name and immediately saw the 23 unread messages and the 4 missed calls. He read all of the messages before letting out a breath he didn't realize he was holding and then pressed the call button on the screen. The call was answered the second he made it and Hajime quickly pressed the phone against his ear. "Nagito's sleeping please don't scream." He whispered fast and quietly. On the other side of the phone a noise could be heard that sounded like someone exhaling a huge breath- his mom must have been so ready to scream her lungs out. "Hajime. Could you please explain why you haven't answered any of my messages or calls?" Hajime's mom said in a passive aggressive tone. "I uh- Fell asleep. Sorry." Hajime said awkwardly. He heard his mother sigh again and then she spoke up. 

"Well what are you going to do?" She asked. Hajime thought about it for a moment. He understood what his mom meant without her saying it. He couldn't stay at the hospital for the entire night no matter how much he wanted to- and there's no way in hell that the nurses would let Nagito out of there for the night. Hajime thought about it and sighed. "I can stay here until nine. I'll take a bus home so you can go ahead of me." Hajime stated. "All right. Just be home before ten okay?" His mom answered. They said their goodbyes and his mom hung up. Hajime let out a deep sigh and leaned back against the wall behind him. He put his phone beside him and slapped his hand against his head. He felt movement around where Nagito was and he looked down. Nagito had wrapped his arms around Hajime's waist and his face was pressed against Hajime's stomach. 

Why was his boyfriend so fucking cute?

"How am I supposed to leave you alone now?" Hajime said under his breath. There's no way he'd leave Nagito alone in a hospital room after what he'd just discovered. Hajime looked around the room- taking in everything around him. Nagito's shoes that had been taken off very messily and thrown onto the ground a little farther away from the door. There was a small table with a chair that were both as white as white can be. And then there was the large window that showed the beautiful night sky and provided some light inside the otherwise dark room. Hajime looked at the door again and noticed Nagito's green jacket. He recognized it well. It was the jacket that Nagito had wore in the killing school trip. One of the sleeves of it was torn apart and broken. The jacket fit Nagito well. Hajime looked at the door once more and an idea popped into his head. 

A really stupid idea. 

"Hey. Nagito wake up." Hajime said while brushing his thumb against Nagito's cheek. The boy groaned and looked up- the light from the window shining in his eyes. "He's so fucking beautiful." Hajime thought. "Get your jacket- we're leaving." Hajime stated and those gray eyes that were staring at him widenned. "Huh?" Nagito said in shock. "Take all you want from here. We're leaving. I'm not letting you stay here anymore." Hajime said with a determined tone to his voice. Nagito looked at him like an angel had descended from the sky. Tears gathered in his eyes. "Really?" He said- followed by a choked sob. Hajime nodded and planted a soft kiss on top of Nagito's forehead. "Really. We're sneaking out of here and then we'll take the bus to my place." Hajime stated. Nagito stood up as fast as he could and he quickly gathered everything he wanted- which was a few books, the teddy bear Hajime had given him a few weeks ago, some shirts and another pair of pants- and the green jacket from the killing game. 

"I'm ready." He said once he had packed everything inside of his back pack that had been on his table. Hajime nodded and he carefully opened the door and looked out- seeing no one. "Let's go before they come." Hajime said and they ran out of the room as quietly as they could. Instead of going into the elevator they took the stairs to avoid running into anyone. "Are you sure we can do this?" Nagito asked- Hajime grabbed his hand reassuringly and looked behind him to face Nagito. He gave a small smile and nodded before looking in front of him again to prevent falling down or bumping into anything. He didn't let go of Nagito's hand though. "I'm sure. What will they do?" Hajime stated and felt Nagito's grip on his hand tighten. "Call the police on us?" He said and Hajime rolled his eyes. "Well fuck them. I'm taking you home even if it's the last thing I do." Hajime stated. The two of them made the stairs down from the third floor and stopped at the door that led out of the stairway. Hajime carefully opened the door and looked out- immediately noticing a few nurses. "Shit." He cursed under his breath. Nagito tapped his shoulder slightly with his free hand. Hajime turned to face him and noticed that Nagito was pointing at something- he turned to look in the direction and noticed something. The emergency exit. 

"You're a genius." Hajime said with a smile and the two of them climbed a few stairs to reach the emergency exit. Hajime opened the door and a cold wind immediately entered the building. It brushed against their faces and played with their hair. Nagito started walking down the stairs and was soon followed by Hajime who closed the door out of them. Once at the bottom of the stairs Nagito raised his hands in front of his face and looked at them in shock. "I can't believe I'm doing this." He said under his breath. A bright smile appeared on his face as yet another set of tears began to appear in his eyes- but this time they were from joy. Hajime walked up next to him and took a leaf out of his hair that had been carried there from the wind. Hajime walked in front of Nagito and kissed him on the lips. Nagito wrapped his arms around Hajime.

He was free.


	10. Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His eyes widenned as well.
> 
> Nagito's aunt- Becky- was on the other side of the road and she was looking directly at the two of them. Hajime's first thought was "Get up, take Nagito and go." But for some reason he stayed put- he had seen this woman a few hours ago, hurting Nagito. She had hit Nagito. He needed to get Nagito out of this woman's grasp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw for mentions of abuse. (Only the word is mentioned)

Hajime and Nagito ran through the streets of the city. The sun had lowered a good while ago and it was a bit chilly. The only light was provided by the lamps next to the streets. Hajime held onto Nagito's hand tightly as they ran away from the hospital. As far as they possibly could go. But they couldn't run the whole way. Hajime probably could go a little farther but with Nagito he would need to remember to slow down. They had ran for a few minutes when Hajime could hear Nagito's breathing starting to turn into sharp in takes of air that were let out as rasped coughs. That's when Hajime knew that they should slow down- stop even. Hajime pointed at a nearby bench and looked behind him quickly to see Nagito nodding. The two of them slowed down and walked over to the bench. Nagito sat down as soon as he could and began to cough while taking wheezing breaths between coughs. Hajime scratched the back of his neck before sitting down himself. "Sorry. I should've slowed down sooner." Hajime stated awkwardly while scratching the back of his neck. Nagito put one hand up as if to signal him to stop talking- and Hajime did as he was told and sat down onto the the bench instead. 

"What now?" Nagito asked once he had calmed his breathing down. Honestly Hajime had no idea. They couldn't exactly go to Hajime's house now- his mom would freak out. "I'll message the class group chat and see who we can go to. I'll tell mom I went over to a friends house for the night." Hajime suggested and pulled out his phone. He put the code onto the screen and the phone unlocked without any issues. He turned to Nagito. "Sound good?" Hajime asked but Nagito was only staring in front of him with wide eyes. Eyes that were filled with _fear_. "Nagito? What is it?" Hajime asked- but when the boy didn't answer Hajime decided to follow his gaze to whatever he was looking at.

_His eyes widenned as well._

Nagito's aunt- Becky- was on the other side of the road and she was looking directly at the two of them. Hajime's first thought was "Get up, take Nagito and _go_." But for some reason he stayed put- he had seen this woman a few hours ago, hurting Nagito. She had hit Nagito. He needed to get Nagito out of this woman's grasp. Hajime stood up and grabbed Nagito's hand to pull him off of the bench. "Wait you two!" Becky screamed from the other side of the road. Nagito seemed to be in too much of a shock to really do anything. Becky started crossing the road while screaming at the two to wait up- but it was different than the ones from the beach. "Nagito please wait!" Becky shouted while trying not tofall over in her heels. Was she begging for them not to move? She finally managed to run tot the two of them and Hajime's immediate reaction was to step in front of Nagito protectively. "What do you want?" Hajime asked while trying his best to glare at the woman. But Becky only looked at Nagito who was looking at her from behind Hajime with a neutral look on his face. 

"I got a call from the hospital. They said that your life expectancy had reduced from a month to only a couple of weeks." Becky stated and watched as the boys' eyes widenned. "I know that, why bring it up?" Nagito said. Becky stepped closer and Hajime almost pushed Nagito backwards. Away from her. "Stop doing that! I'm not going to do anything to him I just want to talk!" Becky snapped at Hajime and the white haired boy behind him flinched at the loud noise. "What you did today speaks against you!" Hajime snapped back and the woman looked at him with an offended look in her eyes. "Am I not allowed to talk to my sisters son?" She asked with a glare. "If it depended on me- no. No you wouldn't be allowed to." Hajime replied just as angrily. Nagito grabbed his shoulder and Hajime turned around to face him- the sick bo hadn't said anything since he had seen his aunt. Which was understandable.

"H-Hajime. Let her talk." Nagito mumbled quietly. "Are you sure?" Hajime asked and shifted the hand he had placed on Nagito's hand to his shoulder. Nagito nodded slightly and raised his gaze slightly to look at Becky. "Finally." She said with a roll of her eyes. "Nagito. Did you run away from the hospital?" She asked- expecting an immediate answer and rasied her eyebrows when she didn't get one. "Well?" She asked and after a while Nagito nodded. Becky let out a frustrated sigh. "You do know that hospital was keeping you alive this long?" She asked- but realized immediately that she had crossed a border. "That was rude of me. I apologize." She said quietly. "I didn't want to stay there. I didn't want to spend my last days there and then die on the white hospital bed in that dull room." Nagito mumbled while feeling pressure rise behind his eyes, hot tears beginning to gather in his eyes. He looked at his feet. Becky sighed again.

"Would you be willing to stay at my place for the night? I could give you two your old room." Becky stated. Both of the boys looked at her with wide eyes. "Don't look at me like that. Am I really such a horrible person in your eyes that you'll doubt my kind offer?" Becky asked. Nagito finally stepped forward from behind Hajime. He stared right into Becky's soul through her eyes. 

"You _abused_ me. You _beat_ me. You would've done anything to _hurt_ me. I think I have every right to be suspicious of your offer to be _kind_ to me." Nagito stated with a fire burning in his eyes that Hajime had never seen before. But the things he said hurt Hajime in a way he couldn't have ever imagined. It didn't hurt physically- but the thought of what Nagito had endured and Hajime wasn't there to help him. He could only be glad that Nagito was still here. Hajime's guilt of how he treated Nagito during the killing game grew ever so worse now and he just wanted to wrap his arms around the sick boy. He just wanted to tell him that everything was okay. Even if they both knew things weren't okay. 

Becky stared at her sisters son. She had never heard such a tone of voice from him. He had usually just agreed to everyhting and kept quiet during whatever his aunt did to him. But now when Nagito was staring right at her- calling her out for what she'd done- she felt something that she thought she would never feel. _Guilt_. Becky tried to open her mouth to say something- to _apologize_ \- but the words were locked inside her throat. Nagito's intense stare began to soften over the span of a few seconds and soon he sighed and slapped his hand against his face as if he was hiding something. _Tears_ Hajime thought- and he was right on that. Soon a few tears rolled down Nagito's cheeks from behind the hand covering his eyes and the top half of his face. Becky and Hajime both stayed quiet as Nagito quietly sobbed into his hand while looking up at the nights sky. 

" _Fuck_." He said under his breath as his arm fell over to his side lazily. Hajime placed a hand on top of his shoulder and gave a reassuring smile when the boy looked at him. Nagito looked at Becky one more time. "I'll accept your offer. But it's not because I _forgive_ you." He stated and Becky didn't argue. She hadn't hoped for forgiveness. She wouldn't dare to ask it after what she had done. She nodded and the three of them started walking toward Becky's house, a house that Nagito knew wasn't far away from the hospital. It really couldn't be because Nagito had to visit the hospital six times a week as a child. Either from his illnesses or from a broken bone... or two. The pale boy walked slowly and unsurely. He really didn't know if going to his aunts house was the best idea. But right now it was one of the only options they had if Nagito didn't want to return to the hospital and face hell for running away in his condition. He walked alongside Hajime and the two of them walked behind Becky, with Hajime glaring holes into her back. 

"I don't like this Nagito." He stated. He had made it clear as day that he did not trust Becky at all. Not one bit. But there wasn't exactly anything Nagito could do about that. And Nagito didn't trust the woman either... So why had he decided to go with her? Perhaps he wanted to talk to her... to fix their bad relationship before he passes? No. That couldn't be it. What Becky did was one of the only things that Nagito couldn't find it in his heart to forgive. "I know. But it's only for one night. Let's go to one of our classmates houses tomorrow." Nagito put a hand on top of Hajime's shoulder in comfort and the brunette chuckled. "It should be me comforting you, not the other way around." He said with a smile that was contagious and soon Nagito had a smile on his face as well. 


	11. Choking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nagito finally registered what had happened. He finally registered what was happening rigth now. He slowly started to wrap his arms around Hajime. In a grip that was meant to comfort not to hurt. 
> 
> "I won't... I-I promise." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One scene is inspired by Violet Evergarden because I love that series and felt like it would fit this chapter pretty well.

Nagito walked up the huge stairs inside the house. He took note of everything around him and immediately noticed how the same tasteless paintings from his childhood were there. Some really boring ones about nature and the ocean mostly. Nagito looked away from them just as fast as he had looked at them. Becky had asked Hajime to stay downstairs for a while and after some argument between the two boys Nagito had agreed to go on ahead. It was weird being back in his childhood home. Even if the place had never been called a home by Nagito. It was weird how distant memories seemed to make their way into Nagito's mind all at once just by being inside the house.

_A nine year old Nagito stood in front of the classroom with a paper in his hand. His hands were shaking and his face had a nervous sweat to it. He definitely didn't want to do a presentation about what home meant to him. But even when he told the teacher he didn't know what home meant to him she had just told him to think about it with a smile on her face- apparently everyone had something that home meant for them. Some students had presented their projects before him and had talked about how to them home meant the warmth of their parents, warm and good food, hugs, bed time stories, siblings, parents. All the things Nagito didn't have. And now he was supposed to present his paper to his class who were all staring straight into his soul,all deadly quiet which was something that Nagito thought was impossible. He thought they just couldn't be quiet. He was supposed to present his paper that only had two sentences on it._

_What home is to me?_

_And_

_I don't know._

_"Alrigth Komaeda. You can start now, there's no need to be afraid." His teacher said cheerfully from behind her desk. Nagito swallowed and gribbed at the paper in his hands harder. "I don't know." He whispered. "I'm sorry? I couldn't really hear that." The teacher stated and gestured for Nagito to repeat his previous statement. He swallowed again and said the same thing- this time a bit louder. When no one still didn't seem to hear he almost shouted "I don't know!". The paper in his hands got ripped in half as he swung his arms to his sides. "You don't know?" The teacher asked while standing up. She shook her head in dissapointement. "You had a week to do this project and you still don't know? Maybe if you would've done something then maybe your paper wouldn't be as empty as it is." She said and went to pick up the paper halves from the ground. "Now then. Let's help Komaeda figure out what home means to him." The teacher stated and went to put the papers in her hand to the trash._

_Many suggestions were shouted. But Komaeda shook his head to each and every one of them. His teacher seemed to get more and more angrier with every shook Nagito gave but she masked it with a smile on her face. Soon Nagito's classmates ran out of ideas. Everything was quiet for a few moments before their teachers act finally fell apart. "Seriously? Nothing?" She asked. Nagito nodded and she let out a frustrated sigh. "What about the warmth of your parents?" She asked but received a shake- but before she could begin to shout Nagito spoke up._

_"They're dead."_

_And suddenly. Everyone understood Nagito a little better._

_Everyone understood why he would begin to act odd whenever asked about his parents._

_Everyone understood a little better._

Nagito's breath got caught in his throat when he came to the top of the stairs. There was a picture. The only picture in the entire house that had him in it as well. It was a picture of him and his parents just before they were supposed to get aboard the plane. Nagito reached over to the picture and took it in his hands. He hadn't seen it in years. He looked at the younger version of himself that was displayed on the picture. He had a bright smile on his face, two white front teeth missing, his eyes were closed and he had a hat on his face to protect his eyes from the sun. His hair was brown but there were clear signs of it starting to go white. He had a white t-shirt on and a pair of brown shorts. He was sitting on his mothers arms with his arms wrapped around her neck. His father was stading next to him with his hands around his mom and Nagito. They were all smiling. Smiling brightly, happily. They were so very happy, not knowing the fate that was waiting for them. Nagito didn't even notice that he was crying until tears started hitting the glass protecting the picture. His eyes widened in surprise and he went to touch his eyes, soon feeling the liquid in them touching his finger tips. 

"Huh." He thought. He hadn't cried because of the accident in years, but he hadn't even seen a picture of his parents in years so that might be one of the reasons. He cleared his eyes of the tears and looked around him, once he made sure that no one was looking he took the picture out of the frames and pocketed it. He opened of the drawers and put the frame there. "I'm sure she won't notice. I think she only kept that one so our nosy neighbour wouldn't ask about it." Nagito thought and continued his trip to his old room. It was at the very back of the longest hallway on the second floor of the building. Immediately as he entered the hallway he noticed how dusty everything was. "I guess she didn't bother to clean up in here after I left." Nagito said under his breath as he walked through the dark and dusty hall. He came to the end pretty quickly and put his hand on top of the handle, twisting it down and opening the door. To Nagito's surprise, the inside of the room was clean. Everything was just as he had left it, clean. There was dust everywhere though which didn't surprise Nagito. 

The pale boy walked to the middle of the room and looked around. The room was just as he remembered it. A large bed at the far right corner and a table next to it. There was one window that was on the opposite side from the bed. A bookshelf Nagito remembered well was on the side of the door that you couldn't see if you didn't open it fully. There was a cozy chair next to it and floorlamp to give some light to late night reading sessions. Lastly there was a flat, round, white carpet on the ground that covered most of the room but ended just before it could hit the corners of the bed, table or bookshelf, chair and floorlamp. The drapes over the window were closed and only little light from the moon managed to get inside. Nagito went to open the drapes and a blueish light exploded into the room. He looked around more and noticed how some of his childhood drawings were still on the walls. He had never shown them to Becky but he had put them onto the walls to make the room feel a little more like home. 

Suddenly in an instant, Nagito felt like everything was crashing down on top of him. The picture of his family in his pocket felt like it weighted a ton and his shoulders felt like there were invisible weights on top of them. The floor felt like it was pulling Nagito toward itself with a force Nagito was unable to stop with the extra weight of his shoudlers and the picture in his pocket. Nagito dropped to the ground without any control over his body. He started gasping loudly and his head felt dizzy. His hands raised up from the ground on their own, they were shaking violently as they kept getting higher and higher- toward his throat. His fingers wrapped around the skin of his throat, the cold metal of his prosthetic arm against hsi throat and the warm skin of his flesh arm against his throat. His hands squeezed hard against his frail neck as more and more tears streamed down his eyes, Nagito subconsciously let out struggling gasps and intakes of air. Trying to get air into his lungs that he himself was taking away from him. The hands around his neck pressed down harder and harder without Nagito having any say in the situation. "M-Mom... D-Dad." Nagito whispered under his struggling breaths, there was a faint sound of foot steps in his ears. Nagito felt his throat starting to bruise under the crushing grip he had on it. "H-Help..." Nagito whispered again as his own hands pressed even harder against his own throat. 

"Nagito!" Someone suddenly yelled, they sounded familiar. Nagito liked their voice. The foot steps in his ears grew louder and less distant and suddenly the pressure agains his neck was gone and his hands were against someone elses. Nagito shut his eyes in pain as he coughed roughly and gasped desperately. He looked up to see the wide, shocked, teary eyes of Hajime Hinata that were looking from Nagito's face to his throat to his hands. "What... What are you doing?" Hajime asked while staring at Nagito's hands. His voice was barely above a whisper and his question was hard to hear because of the gasping breaths that were over it. It took Nagito some time to realize that the gasping breaths weren't his, but Hajime's. Nagito felt a presense behind him and he turned his head slightly to see Becky's blue eyes staring at him from the door frame. She had her hands pressed against his lips to mask her shocked expression- but her wide eyes gave her away. Nagito looked back over to Hajime as the brunette started talking again. 

"I was just talking, w-with Becky when I-I heard a-a c-crash and I r-ran all the way h-here and then I-I saw you o-on the ground with y-your hands around your t-throat and y-you, y-you." Hajime stuttered as his breaths became quicker every second, the tears that were in his eyes started spilling down and hitting Nagito's hands when Hajime suddenly wrapped his arms around Nagito and burried his face against the other boys shoulder. "Don't _ever_ do that again." He mumbled. Nagito finally registered what had happened. He finally registered what was happening rigth now. He slowly started to wrap his arms around Hajime. In a grip that was meant to _comfort_ not to _hurt_. 

"I won't... I-I promise." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhh.. I'm sorry? :D


	12. Happy birthday, lucky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He just wanted to spend his last birthday with his friends and then never see Becky again. He had put everything he wanted or needed inside a bag that was now hanging over his shoulder. There really wasn't anything else than a change of clothes, the picture of is family he had taken, a picture of his old dog Lucky and some other necessary items. He was ready to leave and never come back again. 
> 
> "Nagito."
> 
> Fuck. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No angst in this chapter :D Nagito deserves a happy 18th birthday. 
> 
> (Also I'm so sorry if that singing part is awkward I just have hc that Nagito has the voice of an angel and and and I just thought it would be cute and just wifewbfwh.kwehf-)  
> The song is Renegades by X Ambassadors if anyone is interested.

Hajime woke up as a bright light his his closed eyes. His whole side felt warm- no. His whole body felt warm. Hajime opened his eyes slightly and the first thing he noticed was Nagito's soft face ony inches away from his own. Nagito's arms were being held my Hajime's and the boy breathed in and out quietly and peacefully. Hajime figured that the other warmth he felt on his body was from the sun that was shining brightly behind him. The brunette turned his head slightly as he attempted to look behind him to see how high the sun was, trying to get some sense of what the time was. But his attempt turned out to be in vain because the pale boy somehow managed to press his fingers harder together even though he was seemingly asleep, holding Hajime's hands more tightly and effectively keeping them in place. Hajime turned his head back and saw the small pout that was on the other boys face. His eyes were both closed but his expression quickly turned less mad and more happy as he started to laugh quietly. Hajime quickly joined in on his contagious laugh and dropped back onto the bed in defeat. Nagito instantly wrapped his arms around the other and started to do an evil laugh. "I have caught you mortal." He said and chuckled in an attempt at an evil laugh. Hajime chuckled and looked at Nagito from under him. 

"Since when did you start talking like Gundham?" He asked and received a proud chuckle in response from the other boy as he pressed his fingers against his forehead, trying to act like a character from some anime series. "Since we bonded over the final dead room thing. That was at least half a year ago, try to keep up would you?" Nagito stated with a roll of his eyes and a smirk on his face. Hajime responded with a similar expression, only that his eyes were softer. He chuckled and wrapped his hands around the boy in front of him, he pressed their foreheads together before plantong a small kiss on top of his lips. "Happy birthday love." 

Apparently the realization hit Nagito like the truck that hit his dog because he sat up quickly with either panic or excitement- Hajime wasn't really sure. He watched as Nagito crawled out of bed, he stood up at some point and almost crushed Hajime with his foot. If Hajime didn't know Nagito so well someone could say that he was excited. But Hajime could read Nagito like an open book, the boy was panicked. The reason Hajime couldn't figure out but it most likely had something to do with the fact that it was Nagito's birthday. Hajime stood up just as Nagito's feet hit the floor and he almost fell to the ground face first. Hajime wrapped his arms around his boyfriends stomach from behind and looked at his face from behind. "What's wrong lucky?" He asked and suddenly felt the others hands against his own. "I just have a lot of... unpleasant memories regarding birthdays..." Nagito whispered but soon felt warm fingers against his head. Playing with his hair in a way Nagito was familiar with. It calmed his nerves down a little. "Sorry. What a way to start the day." He mumbled but Hajime just pressed a finger against the pale boys lips. "This will be the best birthday you have ever had." Hajime stated. 

Neither of them dared to say that it would be the best because it would be his last. 

Soon the two boys heard buzzing from behind them and they turned around to see Nagito's phone almost fall off of his table. Nagito walked over to it with Hajime close behind. He took it in his metallic hand and unlocked it with the other. He immediately noticed the waves and waves of messages from his friends that all wished him a happy birthday. Nagito opened the messenger app to go and read them all. He wasn't surprised to notice that Sonia was the first to message him a happy birthday.

**Disney princess:** I wish you the best of birthdays Nagito! Hope you will like the present I have for you!

 **Ruler of the edge world:** The leader of the Tanaka empire wishes you will have a pleasant birthday. 

**Soda can:** hey happy bday man 

**Soda can:** I made something for you so I hope you like it

 **Oh I'm a gummy bear:** happy birthday loser

 **Mom Mahiru:** Hiyoko.

 **Oh I'm a gumy bear:** fine

 **Oh I'm a gummy bear:** happy bday and sorry nagito

 **Mom Mahiru:** Happy birthday from me as well Nagito :)

 **Hot sword lady:** I wish you a very happy birthday Nagito.

 **Boss baby:** yeah happy birthday Ko

 **Boss baby:** me, Kazuichi and Gundham have something planned for you before your party so be prepared 

**Imposter:** Happy birthday Nagito.

 **Sasha Braus:** Yo happy birthday Nagito!!!!

 **Fight me:** HAPPY BIRTHDAY NAGITO!!!!!

 **Anime nurse:** H-Happy birthday N-Nagito...

 **Bisexual disaster:** happy bday nagito!!

 **Bisexual disaster:** I hope you like the songs ibuki chose for your party!!

 **Better Mineta:** Happy birthday Nagito. I hope you will enjoy the food I made

Nagito felt a little overwhelmed by all the positivity and affection sent at him. But he was also really interested in what Fuyuhiko, Kazuichi and Gundham had planned for him, even if he really didn't want to admit it. But now that he thought about it, those three had sorta become his best friends. He had no idea how it had happened, it just sorta did. If he had to guess then it would be that he bonded with Gundham because they both did the final dead room, and he bonded with Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi because he had been friends with the two of them in his own imaginery world during his coma. Which turned out to be a simulation that was supposed to represent Nagito's deepest desires. But the boy was still suprised that those three had even bothered to talk with him let alone start considering him as their friend. Same with people like Mikan and Sonia. Nagito smiled without realizing and soon heard Hajime's soft chuckle from behind him. Nagito turned his head just in time for Hajime to plant a kiss on his lips. "See? People care about you." He then said as he smiled. Nagito put his phone down onto the table and wrapped his hands around Hajime. 

Nagito suddenly used every ounce of strenght he had left to push Hajime and the two of them fell back onto the bed with Nagito on top of Hajime. He quickly shifted his arms so that he succesfully trapped Hajime under him and then he smirked down at the brunette. "Caught ya." He said before smiling softly. Hajime put his hands around Nagito's middle and pulled the other bo against his chest as a laugh escaped his lips. "You should probably get ready for whatever those three have for you. I'll get my surprise ready while you're there." Hajime said. His mismatched eyes staring at Nagito's grayish green ones which closed as the boy on top of him smiled. He got off the bed and went to change his shirt. 

Nagito pulled the gray t-shirt he had on over his shoulders and went to pick up a pastel green turtle neck. Hajime's heart hurt at the sight of the scars that were littered across Nagito's back. But he had been in a plane crash, kidnapped and other horrible things that Hajime didn't want to think about. He closed his eyes, but soon opened them as he heard soft humming from where he was boyfriend standing. The humming turned into a soft tune as Nagito started to sing softly and quietly. Hajime practically felt it as he started to fall for the boy even more. 

He had heard Nagito sing a couple of times before, and everytime he did it was always more incredible than the previous time. Hajime listened carefully to what Nagito was singing, he didn't dare to move a muscle to hear everything the other was singing, and he soon recognized the song. " _Run away with me. Lost souls in revelry._ " 

" _Running wild and running free. Two kids, you and me._ " 

Hajime closed his eyes and began to only concentrate on the soft flow of his loves voice. His voice was soft, calming. It eased off Hajime's mind. Until he realized that this might be one of the last times he ever hears him sing. The last time that he can ever hear the other boys soft and calming voice sing a song. 

Hajime had a good reason to take out his phone and start to record the others singing. 

" _And I say hey, hey , hey , hey. Living like we're renegades. Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey , hey. Living like we're renegades. Renegades._ "

" _Renegades_ _._ "

Hajime set his recording phone onto the bed, he just wanted to record Nagito's singing. He could watch him brush his hair with his own eyes without a phone recording it. 

" _Long live the pioneers. Rebels and mutineers. Go forth and have no fear. Come close and lend an ear."_

The brunette only noticed the tears in his eyes after Nagito started the second chorus and began to tie his hair into a ponytail. He cleaned his eyes with his thumb as quickly as he could. He wasn't going to let Nagito see any tears on his birthday. 

" _And I say hey, hey , hey , hey. Living like we're renegades. Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey , hey. Living like we're renegades. Renegades._ "

" _Renegades._ "

Nagito turned his head around and saw how Hajime was staring at him, he felt a red blush creep up on his cheeks and he quickly pressed the palms of his hands against his face. That's when he heard a sudden noise and soon there were hands against his own. Hajime opened his mouth as his own blush of embarassement took control of his cheeks. 

" _All hail the underdogs, all hail the new kids, all hail the outlaws. Spielbergs and Kubricks._ " 

Nagito just smiled before joining in as well. 

" _It's our time to make a move, it's our time to make amends, it's our time to break the rules. Let's begin..._ "

" _And I say hey, hey , hey , hey. Living like we're renegades. Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey , hey. Living like we're renegades. Renegades._ "

" _Renegades._ "

Nagito and Hajime finished the song with a kiss that turned into an embrace. They looked at each other- and began to laugh loudly. "Sorry for not being as good as you." Hajime said with a bright smile. The same blush from before made it's way back onto Nagito's cheeks. "I'm not any good myself..." He mumbled as he bit his lip nervously. Hajime planted a kiss on his forehead. "I disagree." He said with a soft voice. Nagito pressed the palms of his hands against his face again. "I should probably go." Nagito mumbled from behind his hands. Hajime let go of him and the boy began walking toward the door of his room. "I'll change my clothes and then I'll head out as well. I'm sure that Fuyuhiko, Kazuichi and Gundham will take you to the place we will met up in after they have given you your surprise." Hajime called out and received a mumbled "Okay." in response. 

Nagito walked down the stairs of his old house once again. It felt just as odd as last night. Only he hoped that this time he wouldn't get a mental breakdown and choke himself half to death. He walked the stairs down quickly, he wanted to get out as soon as possible to avoid his aunt. He really didn't want to talk to Becky. He just wanted to spend his last birthday with his friends and then never see Becky again. He had put everything he wanted or needed inside a bag that was now hanging over his shoulder. There really wasn't anything else than a change of clothes, the picture of is family he had taken, a picture of his old dog Lucky and some other necessary items. He was ready to leave and never come back again. 

"Nagito."

Fuck. 

Nagito didn't turn around. He didn't want to. But he didn't go forward either. He just kind of stopped there, unsure of what to do. He knew that Becky was right behind him. "I just want to talk to you." Becky said, she didn't sound angry or frustrated which surprised Nagito. He hadn't really heard Becky use this tone of voice before. Nagito turned around slightly. Then he ended up in a situation he thought would never happen. Something he had thought would be physically impossible to happen. 

"Happy birthday, Nagito."

Becky was _hugging_ him. 

Nagito kind of just stood there awkwardly and in surprise with his aunts arms around him in a loving hug. He had never been touched by his aunt in any other way than in a way that caused him pain. And now his aunt was hugging him in a loving and caring way. Nagito was surprised at how much it reminded him of his own mother. Even if his memories of her and her hugs were very hazy. "I'm sorry." Becky said. "I know it doesn't matter to you know. And I know it will never make everything I did better, but I truly am sorry." She said. She shifted his arms closer to the back of Nagito's neck and the boy tensed instictively. But instead of Becky's hands wrapping around his throat something else was wrapped around there- a necklace. "It belonged to your mother." Becky said quietly as he pulled away from Nagito. She stared at the star shaped necklace around the boys neck as a few tears gathered around her eyes. "I truly miss her and I truly am sorry for everything. I hope your birthday will be the best you've ever had." She said while turning around to try and walk away. 

That's when the second unexpected thing happened. 

Nagito wrapped his arms around Bekcy carefully. " _Thank you_." He said and then pulled away. Walking away. He wrapped his fingers around the necklace, suddenly feeling warmth around his entire body. He put on his shoes and opened the door, walking out of the house, with the intentions of never returning. He heard sobs from behind him but he didn't turn around. He wouldn't ever turn back around. He would only go forward now. 

For as long as he could anyway. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is probably one of my favorites to write. No hard action scenes lol.


End file.
